Graphics: Wumbo
Analysis 1-16: Jcclutch
Analysis 17-32: Arod
1. Cincinnati Bengals (2-0) +1
Another division win for Cammy and the Bengals continue to roll behind Joe Burrow and Joe Mixon. The offense was insanely clean and efficient and the defense did their jobs. Playing like the best team in PML through two weeks.
2. Jacksonville Jaguars (2-0) +1
Etienne ran like a mad man for the Jags and they mostly shut down Jonathan Taylor on the other side. We know this team will be monsters in the regular season, but can they win when it matters?
3. New York Jets (2-0) +8
A great complete game from Fallen with balanced offense with few mistakes while dominating on the defensive side with 5 takeaways including a pick six. AFC is on the rise and becoming more competitive.
4. Minnesota Vikings (2-0) +2
The rookie calm under pressure, Devin Leary continues to impress as the Vikings took down the Commanders with ease behind fantastic performances from Leary and Dalvin Cook. CEO held Wimmy to just 229 yards and 17 points while only getting one takeaway. That’s impressive defense and these Vikings are scary.
5. Arizona Cardinals (2-0) +10
This team may be for real with how well the defense is playing led by Isaiah Simmons, but the offense could definitely be better. 2-0 is still a great start and Dlloyd may be competing well into the playoffs this season.
6. Las Vegas Raiders (2-0) +7
Matigy and the Raiders win a game that could be telling for the rest of their season. Played great defense and took advantage of opportunities. They swarmed to the ball as despite Bijan Robinson’s 7 broken tackles they held him and the rest of the Titan’s offense in check. Derek Carr didn’t play as well as he did week 1 but still a solid game.
7. Green Bay Packers (1-0-1) -6
A disappointing tie for the Packers as they continue to let Aaron Rodgers ride the bench and that may have been the difference in this one. This isn’t real life where a mid game benching will ruin a player’s confidence, Rodgers has got to be in to win the game when Hoocker can’t.
8. Miami Dolphins (2-0) +11
A hard fought overtime win gets Que up a ton of spots and into the top 10. Despite still looking for their franchise QB, the Dolphins leaned on rookie running back Blake Corum and a very impressive defensive performance to get this W. No turnovers forced would be worrying if they didn’t hold the Steelers to 17 points and less than 300 yards.
9. Washington Commanders (1-1) -5
Bad game on all fronts for Wimmy and the Commanders but this team has proved they are very good. Defense needs to do a lot better at forcing turnovers and stopping the run, they made it too easy for the Vikings to do whatever they wanted. Sam Howell completed only 10 of his 21 attempts, this offense needs to throw some more simpler routes to get going.
10. Seattle Seahawks (1-1) ~
CJ Stroud had a fantastic game but nothing else stood out as great from this game. Solid defense, good run game and a 10 point win is what keeps them in the top 10, but I’d love to see Z have a true blowout and stretch this team to its peak.
11. Dallas Cowboys (1-1) -6
Disappointing day for the offense as they turned the ball over 4 times and only put up 14 points. The run game was really limited and on the flip side, their defense couldn’t stop James Connor despite shutting down the pass.
12. New York Giants (1-1) -5
Daniel Jones struggled a lot as the Giants narrowly dropped this game to a competitive Bills team. The run game and defense were solid but those 3 interceptions loomed large and ultimately led to this L.
13. Los Angeles Rams (1-1) +7
A big win for DK against a Ravens team that won the AFC last season. Stafford not throwing a pick was a big step up but the offense was not impressive. What was impressive was the shutout the defense pitched up until a garbage time touchdown and 2 point conversion. If the Rams can play defense like that all year, they’ll be back to the one seed.
14. Chicago Bears (1-1) +7
A huge bounceback week for the Bears with a dominant defensive performance and a great offensive performance. Quentin Johnson is the early frontrunner for OROY after that 138 yard, 3 touchdown performance. Can they prove they’re legit against the Packers next week though?
15. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (1-1) -7
The reigning champs get in the win column with EIGHT interceptions, but despite 30 points, the offense really didn’t get going with only 250 total yards. The Super Bowl hangover is real for this offense just like irl.
16. Buffalo Bills (1-1) +6
Tbruh gets his first win of the year in a close one against the Giants. The offense played clean and balanced and the defense forced 3 turnovers. They probably should have won by more than 3 based on the box score but if they can beat the Jets they lost to in week 1 next week (lol madden scheduling) then Buffalo will be on their way to another great season.
17. Kansas City Chiefs (1-1) -5
Jac and the boys suffer an embarrassing road loss to the Bears week 2. It’s all about how you rebound after you get hit hard and no better way than on the GOTW vs Ceo and the red-hot Vikings week 3.
18. Denver Broncos (0-1-1) +5
Played a very solid game vs GB that ended in a tie. Not the results that wanted but they were neck and neck with one of PMLs best. Broncos have the potential to climb the ranks with another strong outing week 3.
19. Baltimore Ravens (0-2) -10
The AFC champs fall to 0-2 with a loss to DK and the Rams. He’s already asked for the two week mute in the Discord server. Are we in panic mode in Baltimore already? Week 3’s divisional matchup against the Browns should determine that.
20. Tennessee Titans (1-1) -4
One of the most confident users heading into season 2 has the Titans sitting at .500 2 games into the season. Willis throws 44 times while rookie RB Bijan Robinson only rushes 13 times. Feed the man!
21. Indianapolis Colts (1-1) -4
After a promising week 1 start, Drew Lock throws for 8 interceptions and the Colts drop to the reigning Super Bowl champs. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, Lock is not the answer. Jcclutch better start looking at Arod or Brady as potential win moves while developing the quarterback of the future.
22. Detroit Lions (1-1) +4
Lions pull an improbable comeback week 2 against HD and the Chargers. The run game was clicking on all cylinders and Curt stuck with the script even when down 3 scores in the 2nd half. This is the discipline Curt has lacked in cycles past. Great confidence boost heading into a winnable week 3 contest against the 49ers.
23. Atlanta Falcons (1-1) -6
Falcons hung on but ultimately fell to the Jaguars in blow out fashion. The jury is still out on the Taylor move. It’ll be difficult to maximize his usage playing from behind.
24. Los Angeles Chargers (1-1) -6
HD seemed destined for a 2-0 start and ultimately blew it. No reason Herbert has 40+ attempts when you had 3 score leads throughout the game. Let’s see how the Chargers respond in week 3 against the Raiders where they could finish the week tied for 1st with a dub.
25. New Orleans Saints (1-1) ~
Saints get in the win column for the 1st time in the Bryce Young Era with a blowout victory against the Texans. An early 1st place showdown is on deck as they head to Tampa to take on the SB champion Buccaneers.
26. Philadelphia Eagles (1-1) +1
Eagles blow past the Panthers 48-22. You know what that means right? We had some Joey Chestnut action. 79 yards and 2 scores for the hot dog eating champ. We need more blowouts in Philly, on either side. 🌭
27. New England Patriots (0-2) -3
After a promising week 1 loss, Nef and the Patriots get destroyed in week 2 by the NYJ. Are the Patriots destined for another top 2 pick? Week 3 should help us determine that as they travel to Indy to take on the Colts.
28. Pittsburgh Steelers (0-2) +1
Steelers drop a heartbreaker in overtime to the Dolphins. Trevor Lawrence did not record an interception, but if the passing game doesn’t show signs of life, Najee will not be the threat they need him to be.
29. San Francisco 49ers (0-2) +1
Bosa is halfway out the door and the Niners are in the midst of a rebuild believe it or not. Not how we envisioned it pre-cycle the way the roster was set up.
30. Cleveland Browns (0-2) -2
Could be looking at 0-3 after their week 3 game against the Ravens. Tough thing is they don’t have their draft picks as any type of consolation prize for a losing season. Tough situation in Cleveland. The IRL trade also calls for 2024 picks to be sent to Houston! Luckily for Vet, I’m not sure if our game goes that far out with future picks.
31. Carolina Panthers (0-2) ~
Drama says it’s another tank job in Carolina. JT says Drama is spewing BS and the accusations are nonsense. Probably the best story line I could draw up here aside from the rookie watch. We’ll check in on them next week.
32. Houston Texans (0-2) ~
Aside from #32 accusing #31 of tanking, the Texans are about last in every offensive category. Winston has 0 touchdowns through 2 games and Kamara has been held in check. Drama seems to be taking accountability for the results and promises improvements moving forward. Even with the losing, the Texans are must-see-TV.
