Codes’ Corner
Broncos Country Let’s Tank: A former super bowl winner… losing to Vet and then getting blown out 72-15 in back to back weeks. For the last 2 cycles DK has been a top user, and always a top 3 team in his conference. I don’t want to accuse him of tanking, buuuuuut he shipped his superstar FS (Justin Simmons) for a 2nd when has DK ever traded a top piece of his defense away and especially someone with abilities? Never. You think a team with super bowl aspirations is trading away their best player? Nah. If someone told you before the start of this cycle that DK would lose to vet and then let 70 get dropped on his head by Deebo, you probably would’ve either been crazy or Matigy. Regardless, Broncos Country… you are officially on the tank watch.
HD being HD: I for one was really rooting for HD this cycle. I wanted him to be great with those Eagles and make the playoffs. At the beginning of the cycle I made an article on “how to win the division” my tip to HD was to not let a single play dictate the game… here we are after week 3 letting a single play ruin his game. He said he accidentally (cap) jurdled which led him to fumble… instead of bouncing back and winning the game, he let it ruin his focus and took the L. How many times will it take HD… how many times?
FanDUM
Joe Montana: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to your newest segment of the Unified Power Rankings show. The Gridiron Emotions. My name is Joe Montana, most of you know that though. I’m here to be traveling around the league during game-days to interview fans in person and online post-game, to see how they feel about their team, the players, coaching, etc. Our first stop on this new segment is here live at Hard-Rock Stadium where I’m here with diehard fan, Cole. Cole, welcome to the show. Tell us, how do you feel? The Dolphins came off probably, what is without a doubt their biggest franchise defining win. Tell me, how do you feel? What are the emotions?
Cole (Die-Hard Dolphins Fan): Thank you for having me, Joe! It’s such an honor to just be in the presence of a legend of the game, such as yourself. I’m ecstatic though, in all my years I’ve never seen it look so easy. H***, we’re yet to see our full offense. We still have so many cards up our sleeves, we have Tyreek Hill and Jaylen Waddle, the two fastest guys in the league by-far. What did they do in this blowout win? Nothing. Achane and Mosert, they did all the work. So this league better be scared, very f$^&king scared. We’re coming, baby! Miami on-top! Woohoo, baby!
Joe Montana: That is very true. Coach Deebo is yet to use his best weapons in the wide-receiver core, so we’re hoping to see some plays involving a few deep shots to the two elite receivers. We’ll see how things transpire going forward. Cole, enjoy the win and hopefully you’re calmed down and sobered up by the next game as you guys face a tough task in division rivals, Buffalo Bills. Enjoy the win, buddy!
Joe Montana: Ladies and gentlemen! We are back with another segment of, Gridiron Emotions! This time from our studios in Miami. Since it’s not physically possible for us, and myself in my old age, to travel around for every-game. But, nonetheless here we are! On the line we have an Eagles fan, a seventy eight year old fan. Ronald! Ronald, talk to me. How are you feeling? Third loss in a row, still early in the season. Let it out to me man, what is going through your mind?
Ronald (Die-Hard Eagles Fan): Joe, thank you for taking me on the line. I’ve had a lot to say since I heard this podcast was coming to the league. I have to try and keep myself in check here, so my blood-pressure doesn’t go through the roof, because it wouldn’t be healthy for me to let it get too high. Joe, you and I have both been around.. This is unbelievable, I have been a fan for SEVENTY YEARS! Not seven. SEVENTY! SE-VEN-TY! Do you know how long that is? Do you know what that is? Of course you do. You’re up there in age with me, Joe (haha). I don’t know what the issue is, whether it’s Jalen Hurts not in-sync with the offense, or the play-calling. I don’t know. I don’t f!$^ing understand it, but we need f’n answers. Now. I know we’re only three weeks in, but at this rate I’ll need Coach HD fired and out of Philadelphia by week five. I have never seen such a dull-offense. Such shredded cheese defense. H***! Even special teams look like a lost cause, SPECIAL TEAMS! You hear?! How!? Someone tell me, how! Coach HD, you are driving my Eagles into the ground and driving me down six-feet under with them. You’re a disgrace, be ashamed of yourself, you’re ruining this franchise and taking the fans down with you! You f–.
Joe hangs up the phone, before he can finish his statement.
Joe Montana: Oh, no. Looks like we lost signal there with Ronald. Apologies for that folks, but maybe it was for the better. Clearly, feelings in Philly are known. Coach HD, we hope you can hear your fans. They want answers, get this team back on track before we lose Ronald! We got time for a couple more teams, but next on the line we have.. Karl, from Houston! Karl, take the floor, buddy! I’m hoping for a better reaction than what we just had! (haha).
Karl (Houston Texans Fan, as of 2023): Joe! Thank you. I can assure you, I won’t be as livid as Ronald was, but man.. How‘bout them Texans, baby!? C.J. Stroud and I are the same age, and god d***’ he might be the best thing in the league since sliced-bread. Coach Keraun has been cooking, the heat is on. Gordon Ramsay, who?! Man. If we keep playing football like we are, both sides of the ball. JT Goodell, you might as well go ahead and set up that parade in Houston, baby. Because who stoppin’ us?! No one. We play Pittsburgh next week I believe? Pitts-who? More like Loserburgh! Am I right Joe? We packin’ them dumb a** boys up. I see a seventeen and zero future. Followed by three playoff wins, and a Lombaradi. A message to the other teams in the league, all y’all sorry a** motherfu-. (cuts himself off before he cusses on live television). Apologies Joe, PG friendly. Don’t want my mama hearing me swear. All y’all other teams, all of y’all are.. All gurgle, no guts. Texans on-top!
Joe Montana: Well.. That was all something. I’ll have to add that one at the end to my vocabulary.. ‘All gurgle, no guts.’. Coach Keraun, keep up what you’re doing. We’re seeing smiles on the face of the Houston fanbase for the first time in a long time. Anyways, on this week’s episode of Gridiron Emotions, we got time for one more lucky caller.. On the line we now have, Mariah. Mariah is a Los Angeles Chargers fan. Take the floor, Mariah. Give us a little something about yourself and how are you feeling on the phenomenal start by the Los Angeles Chargers so far?
Mariah (Chargers Fan, as of since Justin Herbert got drafted): I won’t take too much of your time, Joey! But I’m Mariah, I’ve been with Justin Herbert – unofficially since he stepped into Oregon. Working on the official part. I have him in all of my fantasy teams, he was my first round pick in each one. Spoiler, undefeated in all of them through three weeks of football. Not only is he the hottest thing to walk into the league, not only is he the face of the league, but he is the best god-d*** player in the league! Where Justy goes, I go, baby! Coach Codes, keep letting my boo slang that tang. I’ll make a promise to you Joe, since we’re on live television and this’ll be saved for all of time. If J-Herby, matter of fact.. When J-Herby wins the MVP award AND the Superbowl this season, I will get a tattoo of his face on my b******. That’s on everything! Go bolts!
Joe Montana: Well, there we have it folks. NFL stars do have stalkers. Justin, hire a security if you don’t have one. For your own sake. With that, folks! That wraps up your first segment of the debuting, Gridiron Emotions! Where we travel around the league, and see how fans are feeling post game. Where they stand on the team, what they could improve on. We saw a lot of perspectives today. We will be back next week, same time, same place. Thank you for tuning in ladies and gentlemen, and to wrap us off. We have to say, we’re looking forward to traveling around the league and seeing how all of you fans of different teams take and deal with the ups and downs of your teams through the course of the year. This is Joe, signing off. Adios!
Texans (3-0): I think most expected Kingke to blow out Tbandit this week, but the Jaguars kept the game close, nonetheless you have to respect this Houston defense, they ranked number one in points given up and total yards allowed per game. When your defense is playing lights out football, it makes it so much easier on a rookie quarterback like CJ Stroud.
Chargers (3-0): This was Codes’ toughest matchup of the season against the Vikings this week and he put up over 40 points and forced Kirk Cousins to throw 4 interceptions. Codes is in control of the AFC West and we could see a repeat of the first season of last cycle when Codes won the Superbowl, but the biggest difference is that his Chargers do not drop off in talent like the Buccaneers did after one season.
Cowboys (3-0): Cowboys are rolling and Dak Prescott has entered entered the MVP discussion. A true test of games upcoming will show if Drama is a contender or pretender starting this week with the Patriots.
Rams (3-0): It is truly impressive what Cook is doing with this Rams team. Meant to be a season 1 rebuild, this team has outperformed their status at release and its all thanks to Cook. I mean he could easily be like the Raiders or Broncos and play on dumb camera angles to hide their lack of care to compete. Cook is doing his thing with this team and could be a NFC West favorite out the gate!
Browns (3-0): I think the Browns are a loud 3-0 team because the teams they’ve defeated this season flat out aren’t very good. But, the Cleveland Browns are doing some wonderful things this season, especially Deshaun Watson. In cycles past, we’ve seen quarterbacks controlled by Mali throw double digit interceptions very early on in the season, but Watson has only thrown 4 so far. The Browns will be a playoff team if they can keep playing turnover free football.
Packers (2-1): HypeMike drops week 3 to the Saints which just adds to the instant classic library of games the two users have brought us the past two cycles. On a lighter note, Christian Watson is absolutely balling out this season long. Could be one of the top receivers in PML this cycle.
Vikings (2-1): Wimmy should be able to get back in the win column in their week 4 game against the Panthers. Then he has another true test and the Kansas City Chiefs are waiting on deck. Wimmy is at a clear disadvantage roster wise, but always seems to find a way bring out the best from what he has.
Commanders (2-1): Commanders drop their first of the season. Has Reality struck? Is their 6 seconds of fame over already? With a very winnable matchup against the Eagles this week, they could keep pace with Drama and the Cowboys… for the time being. Jury is still out on Vet.
Patriots (2-1): SpDot isn’t getting enough credit for his record, which should be 3-0 after a heartbreaking loss to Miami last week. I am impressed with his pass defense which ranks second in the league, but his defense against the run is ranked 32ed, dead last. It seems like his future opponents have a gameplan to exploit.
Saints (2-1): I was firm on my stance that JC would walk away with the division every season. The consistency just hasn’t been there as they dropped a game to the Panthers this season- divisional games at that. Season is still young but those are games that Saints needed to win.
Seahawks (2-1): After a tough week 1 loss to Cook the Seahawks and Z have bounced back tremendously. Lions were the first victim of post week 1 Z and then JT and his Panthers. Now he has to deal with Burn and the Giants. Can he make it 3 in a row?
Falcons (2-1): Each passing week the Falcon hype grows on me just a tad. At what point do I become a believer? Let’s see if they could remain consistent and take down the 0-3 Jaguars this week.
49ers (2-1): I don’t know what to call of CEO just yet. Hes barely winning games with a juggernaut of a team in San Fran. You can certainly dominate with this dominate with this team game in and game out like we in the NFL. Unfortunately we are not yet seeing it with CEO’s 49ers.
Bills (2-1): The former PML Invitational winner is proving that his loss to the Jets in week 1 was a fluke after putting together two back to back wins, and taking down the people’s champion in Vet this week. Josh Allen is playing lights out for Beast, and this is the season for him to show out because Buffalo has some serious cap concerns after the first season.
Dolphins (2-1): 72 points.. That’s so crazy. The Dolphins really went out there trying to mimic real life football, but they failed to break the NFL record of 73 points, just like they’re NFL counterparts. In all seriousness, the Dolphins have a crazy backfield and they lead the league in rushing yards averaging almost 250 yards a game on the ground. I guess when you have track speed at the receiver position, defensive backs can’t crowd the box.
Chiefs (2-1): Matigy is out to prove that his week 1 loss was a fluke after dropping a fifty-berger on the Bears this week. Patrick Mahomes has been playing lights out and hasn’t turned the ball over at all since his two interceptions in week 1. The AFC West is a two man race between the Chargers and the Chiefs from what I have seen so far this season.
Colts (2-1): It’s tough to judge how CB’s season is going to go, his wins are against two winless teams. Statistically, his offense ranks in the bottom five of the league, but I’m curious how much improved he will be once Jonathan Taylor becomes available, because he only has two rushing touchdowns on the season, and he’ll need a better balance to keep up with the better coaches in the league.
Broncos (1-2): PML is real life? DK got 70 points dropped on him and I know our quarters are long, but this is an almost impossible task to accomplish.. Kellen Mond completed 36% of his passes and threw 6 interceptions and the Broncos are giving up 41 points per game on average, but the worst part is that they are ranked 31st in that category, there’s another team in PML that has given up more than that. Maybe Russell Wilson needs to be inserted back into the offensive lineup moving forward.
Lions (1-2): Did Fallen have us all fooled week 1? He’s now dropped two straight. When you play in a division as tough as the NFC North, ya gotta circle wins elsewhere to keep pace. I am sure the Falcons were one of those projected wins. Missed opportunity.
Bengals (1-2): It’s what we all expected, after a blowout loss to the Rams this week, the Bengals have to get better at protecting the ball. Joe Burrow has five interceptions on the season, with this kind of performance, he is going to lose his abilities come the end of the season.
Jets (1-2): Aaron Rodgers has thrown 2 touchdowns and 6 interceptions, this can’t be the production the Jets were hoping for when they brought in the future hall of famer. They’ve committed to Rogers after shipping Zach Wilson to Pittsburgh, but to rank 25th in passing yards per game is unacceptable, especially with the wideouts that Greeny has at his disposal.
Panthers (1-2): The bad news is they fall hard to the Seahawks this past week. The good news is they’re still just a game out of 1st place as no team in the NFC South has really started to pull away. Bryce Young is playing as solid as a rookie could play and he will keep them in a lot of games this season.
Buccaneers (1-2): Cammy pulls the upset and takes down JC and the Saints who were coming off a victory against the Packers. People better start putting some respect on Cammys name as he is proving last cycle wasn’t just a success because of his team.
Bears (1-2): Justin Field threw for 6 interceptions in a complete dud against the Chiefs week 3. Things may be worse than we originally thought for Jefe and the Bears. Too early to fantasize about two top 5 picks? They play an interesting game to say the least against DK and the Broncos who are basically mirroring the Bears this season.
Steelers (1-2): Go ahead Curt, way to get your first win and lessen the pressure off your shoulders. Most of the AFC North this season is going to find it troublesome to defeat teams outside of the division, but the Steelers have already accomplished that task and they need to build on the successes of this game, after all they are only a few games from the lead in the North.
Raiders (0-3):Are the Raiders playing the long game this cycle by taking the easy way out in the first season? Is it Caleb watch already in Vegas? Rumours are swirling that the Raiders aren’t playing lights out football and they are in player lock mode, doesn’t KingMike know there’s a whole mode dedicated to that style of play, and it isn’t ideal for franchise mode?
Jaguars (0-3): The Jaguars are competing but they don’t have what it takes to play out all four quarters, at least from what they’ve shown so far this season. They had an opportunity to change the narrative in the AFC South this week against Houston, but couldn’t come up clutch in the fourth quarter. The drop off between Trevor Lawrence and Josh Allen isn’t too staggering, but for the Jaguars to rank 31st in points per game offensively, they’ve got to be disappointed.
Cardinals (0-3): Ahh, Que is here at 0-3. Yes the Cardinals are bad but how bad are they? Are they 0-3 bad? After watching Vet get blown out by the BIlls and a solid user is it too outlandish to call this a tank? Or is Que not really like that. He did have close games with the Giants and 49ers. Both questionable users at this moment.
Eagles (0-3): Eagles user ranks last, or just about last in every defensive category in PML. With all the talent on the defensive side of the ball, how can this even be possible? Still winless on the season, Eagles user will take another chance at getting into the win column against the Commanders.
Ravens (0-3): Arod had a pretty close game this week against the Colts, but when are the Ravens going to get it together? This team is built to compete now, it has a lot of dynamic players that are ready to take the next step. Arod has to change up his offensive approach to the strengths of his team. The Ravens are ranked 31st in passing and 31st in total yards on offense, completely unacceptable for the talent on this team, get it together.
Titans (0-3): Baby steps for Dlloyd, because this was a game that he should have won, but it was his closest game of the season. The Titans’ roster is in a weird rebuild but not kinda mode right now, and finding out who is going to be the quarterback of the future is the first step.
