Unified Power Rankings, Week 8 – Who can beat Cook!?

Rams: Cool experiment.  What do you get when you mix the leagues best user, give him one of the worst teams, and one of the worst played strength of schedules?  Throw it all in the pot and it results in the 7-0 Rams.  Like the Seahawks slightly below them, they’re both playing the game and doing what they’re supposed to do against lesser teams.  Can’t be mad at that. 

Seahawks: Z still has the Seahawks on cruise control as they breeze through the first half of the schedule.  This weeks victim was Que and the Cardinals as Geno Smith played flawless in the blowout victory.  They have Mali and the Browns on deck and I expect the W’s to keep on rolling in Seattle.  

Cowboys: Dak Prescott is still my pick for MVP, and it will be interesting to see where he stands after Madden drops the Yearly Award races this week.  It will be a huge miscarriage of justice if we see a player such as D’Andre Swift who is playing on a bottom team, above a player who has made the Cowboys a favorite in the NFC this year.  18 touchdowns and 3 interceptions, hats off Drama.  

Chiefs: Patrick Mahomes has his team on a three game win streak and they took down the last undefeated team in the AFC. Kansas City has the highest scoring offense in the league and they are about to play the Broncos who are giving up 37 points a game, expect Patrick Mahomes to throw for four touchdowns in this game.

Chargers: Another one bites the dust.. The Super Chargers get hit with a dose of kryptonite and fall to their division rival in the Kansas City Chiefs. Moving the ball was a challenge this week, and their 25th ranked rushing offense only ran 16 times, but the averaged over 5 yards per carry. Get the running game going Codes! 

Texans: Houston is one of the hottest teams in the league right now and if it weren’t for a hiccup in week 4, they would be undefeated. Coming off a bye week, you know the Kingke has something prepared this week against JT and his deviously cunning Carolina Panthers who proven that they can knock off a top dog or two.

Patriots: Mac Jones has only thrown three interceptions this season, he is protecting the ball and making quick decisions. His fate wasn’t solidified at the start of the season, but SP trusts his guy, and it has the Patriots sitting atop the AFC East.

Packers: We all thought they would run away with the division but as we stand every team is standing their ground and showing intent to compete.  The reality is, Packers are the Super Bowl favorite and they will separate themselves sooner than later.

Lions: The Lions won an ugly one in the windy rain at M&T Bank Baltimore this past Sunday.  Jameson Williams picks up another score and has been sharp since his return giving the Lions another dimension of offense.  Could this spark some life into one of the worst ranked offenses in the league? They have a tough, yet winnable game this week as Las Vegas Raiders roll into town.  Must-win if they want to keep up with the division.

Dolphins (4-3): The Dolphins bounce back from their close loss to Carolina and defeat an Eagles team that is struggling to find their identity. Miami has an opportunity to take the lead in the division next week against the Patriots, they beat them once already this season, and will be looking to conclude the sweep.

Vikings: The Lions picked up a huge win against the 49ers this past week behind a 130 yard and 2 touchdown day from Justin Jefferson.  Are these wins sustainable?  Kirk Cousins ranks 2nd in the league with 17 interceptions as we are seeing it is a big issue on the offensive side of the ball.  

Saints: All the Lattimore drama is behind us.  He found a home and the Saints are ready to focus on football right?  At 4-3, they’re not playing like a team that was primed to make a deep playoff run.  This could all change now that the focus is back on the field.  

Browns (4-2): Deshaun Watson only completed 7 passes, but the Browns still put up 30 points.. That’s a stat line I wouldn’t believe if I didn’t see it with my own eyes. Cleveland’s defense is playing with some tenacity after forcing 4 interceptions this week and I think we’re finally getting to see who the King in the North really is.

Titans (3-3): Did Will Levis prepare during the bye week or was he out partying in Nashville, but he is having a marvelous rookie season. He deserves some fun, and his Titans are going to have a lot of it at the expense of the Atlanta Falcons next week.

49ers: Brock Purdy threw for 4 interceptions and the 49ers drop a close one to the Vikings this past week.  The red flag to me was CMC only receiving 11 rush attempts in the loss.  You have to stick to the identity of this office and feed the league’s most talented running back and that may be the difference in a 3 point loss.  

Bills (4-3): Just when you think the former PML invitational champion is going to make a leap forward and command some respect in the league, he falters and gives up a game that could have set him apart from the rest of the competition in the division. Josh Allen adds another 3 interceptions, bringing him up to 12 for the season. Hm. Why is this a familiar sight?

Bears: The Bears are coming off a tough overtime loss this week against KingMike and the Raiders that could have put them into 1st place in the division.  You have to like what Jefe is doing with the team this year as they have surely overachieved sitting at 4-3.  The bad news is, they could be sitting at 4-5 after their next two games against the Chargers and Saints.

Jets (3-3): It’s the battle of New York, but the Giants are at home, but are they really? Lets call it an even playground for Greeny and Burn, but the Jets with Aaron Rodgers are going to take the victory over Danny Dimes, but I think this will be a high scoring game that lasts until the fourth quarter.

Falcons: Nef and the Falcons put out the fire and keep it close with the Saints for the division.  The defense is playing at a high level.  If they could only get Ridder, Pitts, Robinson and London playing at a similar level, this could be a dangerous team.  

Raiders (2-5): KingMike has been the NFC North slayer. His two victories on the season have come against the Packers and the Bears. He faces off against the Detroit Lions next week, and you haver to wonder if he has the number to this division?

Jaguars (2-5): Is Tbandit and his Jaguars done for the season? They lost this week, well their computer players lost and sitting at 2-5, it’s going to be a battle to stay relevant in the AFC playoff race. Trevor Lawrence could take a step back and lose his abilities next season if his quarterback play doesn’t improve.

Steelers (2-4): The Steelers have dropped two games since their huge victories, but having two wins isn’t going to cut, even in their division. Pittsburgh is going to have to decide whether they’re playing for the playoffs and their playing for the draft.

Colts (3-4): Jonathan Taylor had a monstrous game rushing for over 200 yards in his first game back this season, but it couldn’t help the Colts protect the ball. CB needs to trust his rushing game more and allow his rookie quarterback to take a step back for once.

Commanders: Everytime the Commanders seem they may get over the proverbial hump, they sputter and drop back down.  They were in prime position to go above .500 this week and start digging out their spot in the wildcard race.  Back to the drawing board as they take on the the Eagles in a very winnable matchup.  I am sure Vet knows what he needs to do after the outcome of their last matchup.  

Eagles: ‘B’ tiered Eagles user still struggling to make it work in Philadelphia. Probably nothing a top draft pick can fix, as we seen the same story last cycle season 1 when the Chargers had the number 4 overall pick.  Nevertheless, after dropping 2 in a row, at least their stats are in line and we should see a plethora of Eagles on the all-pro team. 

Buccaneers: Baker Mayfield may be more important to the Buccaneers offense than we thought.  Without him, they are a sinking ship who may have their sights set on the draft, rather than playoffs at this point of the season.  With the Bills and Texans on deck, expect the ship to continue sinking deeper into the draft conversation.  

Panthers: Could the Panthers come out the bye and be a sneaky pick to steal the division?  Coming off a big win against the Dolphins, they could double down and steal one against the visiting Texans to keep pace with the division.  All eyes will be on the Stroud vs Young matchup as the two promising rookies look to showcase their talents against one another.  

Bengals (2-4): This is a perfect division for Goose, but he needs to start playing better with Joe Burrow. There is zero reason that Burrow should have 13 interceptions and more interceptions than touchdowns, I hope that the bye week knocked some sense into Joey B, because the time is now if the Bengals are going to compete for their division. 

Giants:  Daniel Jones limited the turnovers and the Giants took care of business at home against the Commanders.  Was the idea of moving Saquan thought about pre-deadline?  With an expiring contract on the horizon, and a playoff push unlikely, it wouldn’t have been far fetched for me to see the Giants cash in on the soon to be 27 year old halfback before the deadline.  

Ravens (2-5): Lamar Jackson isn’t a pocket passer, he’s been hearing this critique all of his life, but it is especially true in PML after he has thrown 15 interceptions in 7 games. He even got benched this week against the Lions in favor of Tyler Huntley. The Ravens need to decide what kind of team they are, because passing the ball isn’t their strong suit.

Broncos (1-6): Trey Lance’s homecoming in Denver didn’t get the ovation they were hoping for. DK spent a lot of draft capital on Lance and Lattimore, but to no avail, because the Broncos dropped a fifth straight game and their schedule doesn’t get any easier from here.

Cardinals: Geno Smith absolutely carved up the Cardinals defense for four passing touchdowns in the 3-score loss for Que.  They have a 2 game lead in the Caleb Williams sweepstakes, and Murray was officially listed on the leagues trade block. They welcome Arod and the Ravens week 8 as they are still in search for their first dub.  

DK questionable moves: DK hasn’t had the start that a lot of us expected him to have including himself. Sitting at 1-6, we saw him trade Justin Simmons earlier in the season for Burns 2nd, which at the time made a lot of sense… a rebuilding team trading old expensive talent for a solid pick. Then he turns around and trades his first which is projected to be top 5, for an aging CB. We have no idea how regression will be and Lattimore is 27. He could easily lose his abilities, which would make the trade one of the worst in my PML memory. He did make a good move in trading for Trey Lance, for his sake he better be the future. Is DK trying to compete… is he trying to rebuild… I have no idea and I’m not sure he knows either. 

Spdot domination: I’m not gonna lie, I did not have high expectations for Dot and the Patriots. I honestly thought it’d take him a season or two to start really competing. Doesn’t really have to do anything with Dot, look at the teams in his division… he is obviously outmatched. This week he took on the 4-2 Bills and MVP candidate Josh Allen. I had Buffalo winning this game or at least it would be close… nope. Spdot blew him out the water (41-21), he had two rushers over 100 yards. He also embarrassed Josh Allen causing him to throw 3 picks and only complete 57% of his passes. Dot really set the cycle tone win this W. Can he continue this momentum and shock the PML world?

Joe Montana: Ladies and gentlemen! We are back for yet another segment of Gridiron Emotions, where we fly across the league and speak with different fans. Feel the emotions they have through the course of the season so far around their team, the players, etc. Apologies for missing last week’s segment. Our producer Nefarious didn’t give us enough budget to work with, but nonetheless let’s get this show on the road. Today, to kick off the segment we have Curtis out of New England on the line. Curtis, say what’s up and tell us how you’re feeling so far into this early Patriots season.

Curtis (Patriots fan): Well, Joe. It’s been a good season. I’ve seen it quite all, literally.. this season so far. Plenty of wins, a couple losses and even a tie! This has to be the sweetest win of them all though, against a division rival. The Buffalo Bills, a team I’d argue is our toughest opponent to win this division this season. We walked them. Mac Jones was looking like Prime Tom Brady, while Josh Allen was looking like Deshone Kizer. If you told me in the pre-season that we would be top of the division and fighting for a playoff spot, I’d call you crazy but Coach SP is doing wondrous things. Keep doing what’s working and let’s keep this season going.

Joe Montana: Thank you, Curtis. We’re hoping to see you happy and your team continuing to succeed down the road. After a couple dreadful seasons, I think we can all agree that the Patriots Nation deserves this. This takes us to the NFC, NFC South specifically. Where we’re down in Tampa, with Carlos. Carlos, talk to me man.. Hopefully without pulling something, and getting hurt because that’s all that seems to be going on in Tampa right now.

Carlos (Life-Long Buccs fan): God. Don’t get me started Joe, this team can’t seem to stay healthy if their life depended on it. We’re letting the Atlanta Falcons dog-walk us. THE ATLANTA FALCONS!? The last time they were relevant was when they blew that Super-Bowl lead. We’re letting Desmond Ridder carve us up and look like Michael Vick. Coach Cammy, if you can hear me.. I don’t care what you do until Baker gets back, but if Carson Strong and/or Kyle Trask make an appearance you might lose your whole fan-base and have them with pitch-forks and torches at your door. Joe Montana: Well, we certainly wouldn’t want to see one of our PML head-coaches get raided by fans with pitch-forks and torches. But it also wouldn’t be the most surprising thing we’ve ever seen. So unfortunately, we only have time to cover three teams this week folks. Because our production cast, blame them – still won’t give us enough screen time. So to wrap it up, we actually go to the opposite side in the NFC South and take a visit in Atlanta, where we have Marvin on the line. Marvin, if my sheet doesn’t deceive me you’ve been a fan of the Falcons for thirty years. How are you feeling so far into the season, Marv? Especially coming off a divisional win?

Marvin (Life-Long Falcons fan): Well, Joe. How about ‘em FALCONS! I can assure you one thing. No one is going to remember that blown Super-bowl lead, come the end of this season. We have Desmond Ridder leading us to the glory lands. Bijan Robinson might be the best running-back of all time, just after this season. As for those boys in Tampa? I’d start with the idea of relocating because that organization is a dumpster fire. We really only have the Saints in our way, to become division winners come end of the season… But to be honest, I’m not really worried about them either. Coach Nef is doing a great job on both sides of the ball, getting these boys right and man.. I’m tellin’ you Joe, end of this season. We’ll be talking about a Superbowl won, not a Superbowl blown.

Joe Montana: Well, clearly you’re happy Marvin and that makes me happy. I’m glad for you, but it’s still early. Plenty of things can happen. And I have to be honest with you, everyone will ALWAYS remember that blown Superbowl. With that folks, we wrap this week’s segment up. The NFC South is up and down. Fans in New England think they got their dynasty back. How those things will hold up come the end of the season, we’ll see soon enough. Thank you for joining us, on yet another episode of Gridiron Emotions. And we’ll see you, same place and same time next week. Joe out.