Dear Coach CEO of the 49ers,
Ho ho ho, what do we have here? A gift from the Grinch, something to fear! No more fancy RB abilities for your team, Say goodbye to those, it’s not a dream.
Every cycle, you’ve had a back with flair, Abilities galore, it just isn’t fair. But now, oh now, the Grinch steps in, To level the field, let the real games begin.
A CMC without those special perks, Just a regular back, with regular quirks. Your running game, once your pride and joy, Now just a plain strategy, oh boy.
Neutralized, grounded, back to the basics, Running plays without those ace tricks. It’s a Grinchy move, I must admit, But it’s time to coach, time to commit.
So as you plan without your special aid, Remember, it’s not about the cards you’re played. It’s about your skill, your strategy, your wit, Can you still win the game without it?
With a smirk and a wink, Your holiday spoiler, The Grinch
P.S. Let’s see how you fare without those extra boosts. It’s time to play real football, coach!
____
Dear Coach Cookieboy of the Rams,
Grinchy greetings, with a ban in hand, I’ve got a gift, oh, isn’t it grand? A Content Point Ban, just for you, No more stacking points, bid them adieu.
You’ve had your fun, watching films galore, Stacking points with PML Redzone, such a chore. But now, my friend, the Grinch says “No more!” Your content point days are now lore.
Handicapped, that’s right, it’s true, A challenge, a test, just for you. No more easy points, no more free ride, It’s time to coach with your hands tied.
No more advantages, no more tricks, Just pure coaching, in the mix. It’s a Grinchy move, harsh but fair, Time to show your skill, if you dare.
So as you face this new gameplay, Remember, it’s not just about the points you sway. It’s about your talent, your grit, your might, Can you still win the battle, can you still fight?
With a cackle and a grin, Your holiday troublemaker, The Grinch
P.S. Let’s see how you handle this new playing field. Good luck, you’ll need it!
____
Dear Coach Que of the Cardinals,
Grinchy howls and a rumbling sound, A gift for you, oh, it’s quite profound. A tank, yes a tank, right at your door, To crush the competition, to settle the score.
You’ve done it again, a masterful feat, Top five pick to division lead, quite the treat. But now, dear coach, the Grinch ups the game, A real tank for you, to boost your fame.
Imagine the power, the might, the roar, As you navigate the field, ready for war. Your rivals will tremble, they’ll quiver in fear, With a tank at your helm, victory’s near.
So rev up the engine, let the treads roll, It’s time to command, to take control. A Grinchy gift, so bold and so grand, To help you dominate, to take a stand.
With a laugh and a cheer, Your holiday saboteur, The Grinch
P.S. Enjoy the tank, Coach Que. Let’s see how you fare with this beast on your side!
____
Dear Coach Zstar of the Seahawks,
Grinch greetings, with a touch of fire, A gift for you, to lift you higher. A FOOTBALL Offensive Playbook, oh so keen, To elevate your game, to change the scene.
Your offense, they say, “rinky dinky” and light, “Madden-like,” they mock, oh what a plight! But now, dear coach, the Grinch lends a hand, To revamp your strategy, to take a stand.
No more simple plays, no more child’s play, It’s time for tactics, real football, hooray! This playbook’s a gem, a treasure, a guide, To silence the doubters, to swell your pride.
I revel in the toxicity, the heated debate, Adding fuel to the fire, oh, it’s just great! With this playbook, you’ll have your say, Shutting down haters, in your own way.
So dive into the pages, craft your plan, Show them what you’re made of, you’re the man! It’s a Grinchy gift, a sly little twist, To prove your worth, to top the list.
With a snicker and a nod, Your holiday instigator, The Grinch
P.S. Let’s see those haters eat their words! Go Seahawks, show them your new offensive birds!
