Every PML cycle has its storylines. Dominant teams. Breakout rookies. Coaches heating up at the right time. Coaches melting down at the wrong time. Rivalries rekindled. Upsets that shake the playoff picture. But every once in a while, a storyline emerges that’s less about the X’s and O’s and more about… vibes. Suspicion. Conspiracy. Chaos.
And today, we need to talk about one coach who is delivering all of the above in historic fashion.
Yes, this issue is all about the man, the myth, the cheeks himself — TBandit, better known across the league as TBooty.
If you’ve been paying attention this cycle (or even if you’ve only glanced occasionally at the standings), you’ve probably noticed that things in Miami are… not good. Not fine. Not salvageable. We’re talking full-on crisis mode.
The Dolphins are currently 1–6, sitting at the bottom of the AFC, and their most recent loss might be the most damning performance of the cycle so far: a 22–48 beatdown by the CPU New York Jets.
Not a user Jets team.
Not a top-tier opponent.
The CPU.
And not only did he lose, but he got cooked. Not sautéed. Not pan-fried. We’re talking slow-roasted, oven-baked, marinated overnight, and served on a platter.
The optics are bad. Real bad. Especially when you remember what roster the Dolphins have at their disposal.
Let’s break it down:
Arch Manning – Superstar QB.
One of the most hyped rookies in PML. Big arm. Big potential. Big storyline.
Tyreek Hill – Superstar WR.
One of the fastest weapons in the entire league. A nightmare for any secondary.
Jaylen Waddle – Superstar WR.
The little brother of speed demons. Essentially another Tyreek with slightly fewer physics glitches.
And with that roster, TBooty managed to get doubled up by the CPU Jets, letting them drop nearly 50 points in a game that looked less like football and more like a tutorial for “How Not to Use Speed.”
Naturally, the league has questions. And when the league has questions, the theories start flowing.
And oh boy, do we have a theory.
Was This Tanking?
Let’s just address the rumor head-on. Some coaches in PML are whispering, and some are yelling, that TBooty may be tanking the season. Intentionally? Accidentally? Emotionally? Spiritually? Hard to say.
But when you have a roster built like a Madden Ultimate Team promo and you’re losing like you’re running a 54 overall rebuild challenge, people start raising eyebrows.
Tank jobs usually come with hallmarks:
- Strange playcalling
- Refusal to adjust
- Players in weird roles
- Stat lines that make absolutely zero sense
- Games that spiral without any attempt to stop the bleeding
Check. Check. Check. Check. And check.
Or Was This Something Else?
Because the more the league looked at the situation, the more another question emerged.
What if this wasn’t tanking…
What if this was payment?
Let’s talk about the Jets’ head coach, Arod.
Arod is currently on a cruise, living his best life, fruity drink in hand, probably wearing aviators and pretending he doesn’t hear the ship announcements. Since he couldn’t play, the CPU had to fill in.
But that didn’t stop the conspiracy theorists from immediately putting the pieces together.
TBooty got blown out by a CPU team.
Arod is gone, unreachable, and conveniently nowhere near the game.
Coach Arod was consistently checking in to see if TBooty played the game yet.
TBooty delivered that win in spectacular fashion.
And so, the whispers started:
“Did Arod pay him off before boarding the ship?”
“Was there a pre-cruise handshake deal?”
“Did he leave behind a suitcase full of resort credit vouchers?”
“Is TBooty collecting Marriott points for losses?”
Now, let’s be clear, is any of this confirmed? Of course not.
Is it fun? Absolutely.
And in PML, fun theories have just as much staying power as factual analysis.
But whether or not any bribery occurred, the performance itself cannot be ignored. The Dolphins don’t look like a struggling team. They look like a team without a pulse. They look like a team that couldn’t defend a slant route if the CPU telegraphed it in bold font.
And if you’re losing by almost 30 to a roster missing its human pilot, it raises real, legitimate concerns about coaching, preparation, and future direction.
Where Does Miami Go From Here?
The Dolphins are in a dangerous spot. They have the talent to compete. The weapons are elite. The quarterback is elite. The team speed is borderline illegal. And yet, the results are the worst-case scenario.
Is it lack of focus?
Is it burnout?
Is it TBooty being stretched too thin between TBooty memes and actual gameplay?
Is it the curse of coaching the Dolphins?
Is it Madden simply deciding it hates Miami this cycle?
Whatever the reason, the season is spiraling. Fast.
But the beauty of PML is that narratives can flip overnight. A win streak can appear out of nowhere. A coach can find his identity late. A roster built on speed can string together explosive performances and return to form.
If anyone loves a comeback storyline, it’s PML.
But for now?
The league is watching.
The league is laughing.
The league is suspicious.
And the league is absolutely waiting to see how far the booty collapses before it bounces back.
What do you think though? Is TBooty tanking, trolling, or just tragically TBooty-ing? Let’s hear where you stand.
– DK
